Adventure, YES!
by Arctic Banana
Summary: After Bumblebee's pet goldfish dies, he, along with Jazz, Arcee, and Optimus Prime, set off on an epic journey to save his fish from the Reaper. DISCLAIMER: Contains 78% Insanity
1. We're Going On An Adventure, Charlie!

I promised my youngest sister that I'd write her this story back at the beginning of August (The 8th, actually; I know the exact date because I was writing _Fun In The Sun _that night). It was a bribe to get her to behave for me. I never did write it... Therefore, here it is (she's only 6-years-old, so the version I'll be presenting her with will be edited for such things as profanity and whatnot to make it G-rated).

* * *

_Gather around children and listen well, for the frozen banana has a story to tell. It starts with two bots, one yellow, one a spaz, who go by the names of Bumblebee and Jazz…_

Bumblebee rolled over in his sleep like he did every night, crushing his best friend under his weight. The smaller robot wriggled and squirmed out from under him, falling to the floor with a loud crash. Optimus Prime gave them both a weird look.

"Why are you both sleeping on the kitchen table?" he asked Jazz.

Jazz stared up at him from where he lay on the floor. "It was closer to the fridge for when we wake up," he explained. Optimus still seemed confused.

"Is it morning already, Jazz?" Bumblebee asked sleepily as he sat up. He stretched out and jumped down from the table.

"Yep," Jazz replied. "First thing on our schedule… To the fridge, so that we may fill our bodies with nourishment!"

"Away!" Bumblebee added as they both made a break for the fridge.

Optimus shook his head. "Who the heck sleeps on the table?" He opened the cabinet looking for something to eat himself. He jumped back and screamed in surprise.

"G'morning!" Arcee said from where she had slept through the night in the cabinet, munching on a box of cereal.

* * *

"Alright, what's next on our list, Jazz?" Bumblebee asked.

"Okay, let's see…" Jazz looked over his PDA. "Eat…check. Annoy Prowl…check. Find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop…" He pulled a Tootsie Pop out of subspace and held it out for Bumblebee. "Here Bee, lick this."

Bumblebee stared at the Tootsie Pop then looked at Jazz and back to the candy. "I can't… I don't have a mouth…"

"And I don't like orange…" Jazz added. They continued to stare at it. "Okay, we'll skip that, then." He tossed the Tootsie Pop away. Sunstreaker looked up, confused, when a piece of candy pelted him in the head, shrugged, and ate it.

"So what do we do next, then?" Bumblebee asked excitedly.

"Feed Floaty!"

"Yay! Floaty!" Bumblebee cheered, running off in the direction of his room. Jazz soon followed after him. Bumblebee slid to a halt in front of a fish tank and looked through the glass. "Hey Floaty! Are you ready to eat? Floaty?" He tapped lightly on the glass. "Jazz, something's wrong with Floaty…"

Jazz walked up next to him and looked into the tank at the goldfish. "Uh oh… Bumblebee… Floaty's kicked the bucket…"

"What bucket? That one we dump the water in when we clean out his tank?" Bumblebee asked innocently.

Jazz averted his optics. "No, Bee… I mean he's pushing up daisies…"

"There aren't any daisies in there. Just plastic plants," Bumblebee pointed out.

"He's dead, Bumblebee."

Bumblebee's optics got wider. "What do you mean he's dead? Floaty can't be dead! He's my friend!"

"Yeah… So what the hell do we do with the rest of this shit?" Jazz asked, holding up the can of fish food. He shrugged, poured some into his hand, and ate it. "Hey, this crap actually isn't half bad."

"Floaty, don't do this to me!" Bumblebee sobbed. He reached into the tank and pulled out the floating corpse. "Jazz, quick! Do CPR! Maybe we can save him!"

Jazz backed away from him. "Bumblebee, I'm not putting my mouth anywhere near that thing! That's disgusting!"

"Says the guy who's eating fish food! Now give Floaty CPR!" Bumblebee demanded.

"Floaty's dead, Bumblebee. There's nothing more we can do for him," Jazz sighed. He ate another handful of the fish food. "These are some damn good fish flakes."

"But…but why?" Bumblebee sobbed.

"Everything dies eventually, BeeBee. Even I did," Jazz tried to explain. "That's just the way things are. Holy cow, these might even be better than that jar of baby food I ate last week!"

"But he was just a little fish! He was too young to die!" Bumblebee sobbed. Jazz wrapped his arms around him and attempted to comfort him. He then ate more of the fish food. Bumblebee snatched the can from him and slammed it down on the table. "Stop eating the damn fish flakes!"

* * *

"Aw, Bumblebee, don't cry. I'm sure Floaty's in a better place now," Arcee said reassuringly.

Bumblebee had painted his armor black out of respect and was crying over a shoebox containing Floaty. "It's like one day he's following my finger through the glass, and the next he's swimming around in the giant fish bowl in the sky!" he sobbed.

"Things die, Bee. People, animals, weblogs… Everything," Arcee hugged him. She looked over at Jazz funny when he came in munching on fish food. "Jazz, there's squid parts and old, dried up fish in that."

"Really? Ew!" Jazz replied, eating some more of it. Arcee shook her head.

"Floaty used to love fish flakes!" Bumblebee sobbed.

"Um… Can thombody get me thum water?" Jazz asked with a mouthful of fish food.

"Floaty used to love water!"

Arcee glared at Jazz. "Can you try to be a little more sensitive?"

Jazz shrugged, swallowing the fish food. "Okay then… I'm gonna go watch Pimp My Ride."

"Floaty used to love watching Pimp My Ride!"

Arcee glared at him again. "The fish never…" he tried to defend himself.

"Go!" she snapped, pushing him out of the room.

Bumblebee continued to sob over his fish while Arcee hugged him. "It's okay, Bumblebee. We'll get you a new goldfish."

"But I don't want a new goldfish! I want Floaty!" Bumblebee protested. He hugged the box tighter.

"Floaty's gone, Bumblebee. We can't raise him from the dead," Arcee reasoned.

Bumblebee stopped his crying a moment, his head picking up as an idea occurred to him. "Why not? We brought Jazz back from the dead." Arcee had a feeling that what he had in mind was going to be something stupid…

* * *

"Okay, so explain to me what we're going to do again?" Jazz asked, sitting on the couch so that he was upside down with his head on the floor.

"Well, when you died, we used the Allspark to bring you back, right?" Bumblebee replied. Jazz and Arcee nodded. "So why don't we just go to whoever's in charge of dead organics and ask for Floaty back?"

"That's a great idea and all, BeeBee, but you're forgetting one thing… We don't know where that guy even lives…" Jazz pointed out.

"Or even who he is," Arcee added.

Bumblebee thought a moment. "Then we shall use the best and most truthful source on the Internet to find out who this person is and where he lives: Wikipedia!"

And so, they all rushed to the nearest computer to look up who this person was on Wikipedia.

"Here! This "Reaper" guy must have your fish!" Jazz pointed out on the website.

Bumblebee scanned the article. "Hmm… So then where does he live?"

"I dunno… Let's check MapQuest!" Jazz suggested. They took a few more minutes looking up where he might live on MapQuest.

"Here it is!" Bumblebee said happily, printing the map.

"Alright then! Let's go on a road trip!" Arcee said.

"ROAD TRIP!!" the other two screamed, rushing for the door.

They were soon stopped by Optimus at the front door. "Where do you three think you're going?" he asked.

"We're going on an adventure!" Bumblebee replied.

"Adventure, yes!" Jazz nodded.

Optimus sighed. He knew their answer was going to be stupid. "No. You know you're not allowed outside without adult supervision."

"But we _are_ adults!" Bumblebee protested.

"Yeah, especially Jazz!" Arcee agreed. "He's twice our age! Why can't he be our supervision?"

"Because Primus didn't give him half the brains that he gave a hunk of scrap metal," Optimus replied.

Jazz leaned over towards Bumblebee and whispered, "Who's he talking about?"

Bumblebee thought a moment. "What about you? Why can't you be our supervision?"

"Excuse me?" Optimus asked, staring at him in confusion.

"Yeah, Optimus! Come with us!" Arcee added excitedly. She nudged Bumblebee and Jazz. "Give him the cute look…" All three of them gave him the cutest look that they could, making them look more like helpless sparklings than the mature adults they claimed to be.

Optimus sighed. They really wanted to go, and if he said no, they'd just wait until he was gone and then sneak out. He really didn't want them to do that, so he gave in. "Fine. I'll come with you. Where are we going again?"

"YAY!" the others cheered.


	2. The Forest of Squirrels

I'm happy now! On Friday, my schoolbag got stolen while I was getting my lunch. My Barricade was in there. T_T But earlier today, I got a call from my school. They found my bag and have an idea who might have taken it from surveilance footage, and although my MP3 player is gone, my Barricade was still in the bag. I can get him back on Monday! Bumblebee will be so happy! It's kind of lonely for him on the bookshelf by himself.

_Story related:_ You can thank my sister for the Mario reference in this one. XD

Lyrics used are from: "The Legend of Zelda" by The Rabbit Joint, and "The Song That Never Ends" by whoever came up with that song

* * *

"Link, he come to town, come to save the Princess Zelda!" Jazz and Bumblebee both sang as they walked along through the field to their destination. Optimus was beating himself up inside for agreeing to come along. "Ganon took her away, now the children don't play, but they will when Link saves the day, HALLELUJAH!"

"I'm sorry Optimus, but your sanity is in another castle," Arcee said sympathetically.

"Look, can we just hurry it up and get to wherever the hell you guys want to go?" Optimus asked, annoyed. He never would have agreed to do this, if it weren't for the fact that he knew they'd be getting in trouble if he hadn't.

Jazz pulled out the map that they'd printed. "Okay, so we've gotta go through there…" He pointed towards a dark, eerie-looking forest. "…the Forest of Squirrels. I wonder why they call it that?" Bumblebee and Arcee shrugged.

Optimus stared at the forest. "Are you sure?!"

"Yep. See?" He handed Optimus the map.

Optimus groaned when he looked over the map. They did have to go through there. Where were they even going? He looked at the destination on the map. "The Reaper's house? We're going to the Reaper's house? Who _is _this Reaper, and why do you want to go there so badly?" he asked.

"The Reaper is this skeleton-like dead guy that leads dead organics to the afterlife," Jazz answered.

"Floaty died. We're going to save him!" Bumblebee added.

"Floaty _WHAT?!_" Optimus accidentally blurted out. "Um… I mean…"

"Died. Just this morning. I miss him so much…" Bumblebee sniffed, his optics filling up with tears.

Arcee noticed Optimus looking away nervously. "Um… Are you okay, Optimus?" she asked.

Optimus looked back at her. He seemed slightly panicked. "Yeah. I'm fine. I wasn't aware that Floaty died…"

"He left me just like my guinea pig, Nermal, did!" Bumblebee whimpered. Arcee patted him gently on the back.

"You mean suddenly, with a lot of blood and squealing?" Jazz asked. Arcee glared at him when Bumblebee began to cry harder over his deceased pet rodent.

"Nermal! It should have been me that got ground up in the garbage disposal!" Bumblebee sobbed into Arcee's shoulder. Optimus reached over and smacked Jazz upside the head for bringing that up.

"Poor Nermal. What a way to go," Arcee sighed. Must have made quite a mess, too…

"Okay, Bumblebee. Just calm down. We should probably get going so we can get there before dark," Jazz tried to change the subject.

"Before dark? It's 9:35 in the morning! How long _is _this trip?!" Optimus asked.

Bumblebee sniffed. "Okay. Let's go get Floaty, then."

"Yes, let's," Arcee agreed.

"Adventure, yes!" Jazz said before they started to march off towards the Forest of Squirrels.

"How do I get myself into this crap?" Optimus sighed while he followed.

None of them were aware that they were being watched from up in the trees…

* * *

"This is the song that never ends! It just goes on and on my friends!" Jazz sang as they walked along.

"Must you?!" Optimus snapped. Jazz had been singing that song for the past fifteen minutes, and it was really starting to irk him.

"Some people started singing it not knowing what it was…" he continued, ignoring him.

"Jazz, please, stop singing!" Optimus begged.

"He can't stop singing Optimus, it's the song that never ends!" Bumblebee protested.

Optimus whacked Jazz in the back of the head, making him stop singing immediately. "Well it just ended."

Jazz shook his head and ducked as Optimus accidentally sent a branch swinging back in his direction. Arcee just walked under it. "You know, maybe it's not so bad being the shortest Autobot," Arcee shrugged. She suddenly heard something running behind them and spun around.

"Is everything okay, Arcee?" Jazz asked, pausing to look back at her. Optimus and Bumblebee looked back as well.

"Yeah. I just thought I heard something. It was likely some kind of animal," she replied before continuing along with them.

Optimus turned back around and almost walked into a branch- but it wasn't the branch that caught his attention. It was the fact that there was a squirrel in the branch, dressed in a little black outfit. It bonked him on the head with a nunchaku that it pulled out of hammerspace and leapt back onto the trunk of the tree. He backed away from the tree and shook his head. "Did you guys just see that?"

"See what?" Bumblebee asked.

"A squirrel just hit me on the head and ran away!" he replied.

"No…" Arcee shook her head. They stared at him strangely.

"No seriously, a squirrel hit me with a nunchaku and ran away!" he repeated. They all suddenly heard something dropping out of the trees and looked around to find that they were surrounded by squirrel ninjas.

"Oh… So that's why they call it the Forest of Squirrels," Jazz said.

"Aww! Look how cute they are, with their tiny weapons and little ninja outfits!" Bumblebee cooed. He poked one and picked it up by its tail, prompting it to swear and shake its tiny fist at him. "Aww! It's so cute!"

"Bumblebee, put the squirrel down!" Optimus commanded. Bumblebee sighed and did as instructed.

"Er, we didn't mean to intrude or anything, little Ninja Squirrels… We were just passing through," Arcee tried to calm the angry squirrels. They tried to move out of the circle of squirrels, when one of them threw a shuriken at them, causing them to quickly back up again.

Optimus noticed the squirrel that whacked him sitting on the branch again. "There you are!" he pointed at the squirrel. It hissed at him.

"What do we do now, Optimus?" Jazz asked.

"Now…we run!" Optimus replied. They took off running and screaming through the forest while the Ninja Squirrels chased after them.

Arcee jumped up into Bumblebee's arms when something exploded right beside her. "What was that?!"

"They're throwing exploding nuts at us!" Jazz replied.

"Where in the hell did they get exploding nuts from?!" Optimus thought out loud.

* * *

"My walnuts!" Wheeljack cried when he realized that someone had raided his snack pantry.

* * *

"I dunno, just keep running!" Bumblebee responded as a shuriken flew past him and imbedded itself in a tree.

"Way ahead of you!" Jazz shouted as he ran past. They suddenly came to a cliff. "What the hell?!" Jazz face-palmed. "Why are cliffs always conveniently placed to hinder someone who's trying to run away? It's like that guy who made the Earth has a wacky sense of humor!"

"Jazz, look out!" Bumblebee couldn't stop in time and slammed into Jazz, sending them both over the edge.

"Jazz! Bumblebee!" Arcee called after them as they fell to the bottom.

* * *

Bumblebee groaned while he sat up, stretching out. He looked around, not recognizing the area of forest where they were now sitting. "Jazz? Are you okay?" he asked.

"I was until you landed on me," Jazz replied. He stood up, roughly pushing Bumblebee off of him. "Where are we?"

"I don't know… It looks like a jungle…" Bumblebee replied.

Jazz looked at the map. "It says we're in the Jurassic Jungle."

"Okay, so if the Forest of Squirrels is named so because it's full of squirrel ninjas, than does that mean that the Jurassic Jungle is filled with…?" Bumblebee and Jazz both looked up when they heard something in the bush in front of them, then screamed when it lunged.

* * *

_Ooh, what happens next? Dah, dah, dum..._


	3. Primeval

And now, watch as I flaunt my knowledge of dinosaurs and prehistoric reptiles. Primus, I'm such a nerd...

Lyrics used are from: "Lonely Day" by System of a Down

* * *

"Optimus, they fell down the cliff! Should we go too?" Arcee asked.

Optimus looked back as the squirrels started to catch up with them. "I don't think we have much of a choice… Come on!" He grabbed ahold of her and jumped over the edge, sliding to the bottom into the trees below. He released her upon landing. They both looked around at their surroundings. "Why is there a jungle in Nevada?"

"Hey, this is Banana's story, she can do whatever the hell she wants with it," Arcee replied. Optimus shrugged.

They both looked around for Bumblebee and Jazz. "I don't see them anywhere," Optimus said.

"I really hope they're not out there "slashing"," Arcee added. They heard something rustling in the brush and turned to face it. "What's there?" she squeaked.

"I don't know…" Optimus responded. He grabbed ahold of her and pulled her closer just in case. They both took a vigilant stance while they waited for whatever it was to reveal itself. Then suddenly…

…a cute little cottontail rabbit hopped out from the brush. "Aww! It's so cute!" Arcee cooed.

A large bipedal lizard of some sort ran out into the open, snatched up the screaming rabbit, and disappeared back into the jungle. Optimus and Arcee both stood motionless, watching the area where the dinosaur disappeared.

"It ate the bunny…" Arcee said, tears filling her optics.

"Was that a Deinonychus?!" Optimus asked.

* * *

"We're lost, aren't we?" Bumblebee asked.

"No… We're not lost…" Jazz replied. "We just don't know where we are right now." He stared at the map and turned it every which way to try to find out where they were.

Bumblebee sighed. "Okay then, let's backtrack. What do the instructions on the map say to do?"

Jazz looked it over. "Walk ten meters past the tree that looks like it's dancing to _Thriller_."

Bumblebee looked around until he found the tree. "Okay, it's right there. What else?"

"Look for a man wearing an "I shot J.R." T-shirt and turn left."

Bumblebee looked to his right and saw a guy wearing an "I shot J.R." T-shirt. "Okay. Done. Now what?"

"I don't know… It's smudged! Dammit Bumblebee, I told you not to touch it until the ink had time to dry!" Jazz face-palmed.

Bumblebee looked around nervously. "Great! So we're lost, and that thing that attacked us earlier is still hot on our trail!"

"We'll get out of here eventually, Bumblebee. We still have a pretty long lifespan ahead of us," Jazz reassured him.

"Yeah, until we run out of food. Speaking of which, I'm starving. What did you bring me?" Bumblebee sprung to his side, eagerly waiting for something to eat.

Jazz pulled out a bag. "I brought your favorite snack!"

"Peanut butter and guava pizza?!" Bumblebee replied excitedly.

Jazz was silent for a moment. "Okay, I brought your second favorite snack: A chocolate pudding and marshmallow fluff sandwich with white gummy bears and chocolate sprinkles!"

"Yay!" Bumblebee cheered. He was cut short when he felt something breathing on the back of his neck. "Jazz… What is standing behind me?"

"That would be the same Inostrancevia that was stalking us earlier…" Jazz replied. Bumblebee gave him a confused look at his explanation. "Inostrancevia: The largest known gorgonopsid, a mammal-like reptile that lived in Siberia during the Permian period before the dinosaurs. It was about the size of a rhino, which is only…about 4 feet shorter than you."

"That big, huh?"

"Uh huh."

"Lots of sharp teeth?"

"Yup."

"And it's here in a non-existent jungle in present day Nevada?"

"Go back to the beginning of this chapter and read Arcee's explanation."

"Oh." There was an awkward silence. "Should we start running now?"

"That would be a good idea," Jazz nodded.

They took off running while the rhino-sized therapsid chased after them, knocking over trees and squashing an unfortunate Compsognathus that happened to be in their path. Bumblebee bolted for a large tree and scrambled up to the top, dragging Jazz up with him. He clung tightly to the topmost branch, holding onto Jazz so that the Solstice wouldn't fall. The Inostrancevia leapt up and snapped at them.

"I don't want to die! I want to live!" Bumblebee cried.

"We're not gonna die, Bumblebee! We'll just stay up here until the gorgonopsid gets bored and goes to snap up something easier," Jazz said optimistically. "It's a primitive reptile. I'm sure that won't take long."

* * *

"Arcee, did you find them yet?!" Optimus called over to her from a little ways off.

"No!" she replied.

"Keep looking!"

"Neh, I thought I'd just stand here and do nothing." She looked around, behind trees, under rocks, and even stuck her head into a stream to look inside there. Unfortunately, the only things she found in the water were some prehistoric amphibians and a predatory fish. She pulled her head out and shook the water off, suddenly noticing that someone was standing in front of her, just across the stream.

"Um…" Bonecrusher said, looking around nervously. Instead of his usual sand color, he'd painted himself forest and olive green to blend in with the surroundings. He quickly put on a pair of sunglasses and used a neurolizer to erase her memory. "You didn't see anything…" he said, quickly running away.

Arcee stood there in a daze. "What just happened?" she thought out loud, confused when she couldn't remember anything.

"We need to hurry up and find them so we can get out of here," Optimus grumbled, approaching her from behind. "These freaking Pteranodons keep trying to build a nest on my head, and a Nanotyrannus just mistook me for a tree and marked me as its territory." He waved his hand at the pterosaurs that had perched on him. "Shoo! You freaking primeval buzzards!"

"I still haven't found any sign of them. I hope Bumblebee's okay…" Arcee said worriedly.

"What about Jazz?" Optimus asked.

"Jazz? Oh yeah, him too," she added quickly. She continued looking for them by flipping over a small rock. "Nope. They're not under here either. Oh cool! I found a salamander!" Optimus sighed when she started playing with the salamander she'd just found, completely falling out of touch with reality.

* * *

"Such a lonely day, and it's mine. The most loneliest day of my life…" Bumblebee sang out of boredom. He looked over at Jazz, who was perched on a nearby branch. "Is it still there?"

Jazz snapped a small piece of branch off and dropped it to the jungle floor below. The Inostrancevia bolted out from its hiding place and snapped the branch up in its jaws, then ran back into the jungle to hide. "Yep."

Bumblebee sighed and leaned back against the tree. "And if you go, I wanna go with you. And if you die, I wanna die with you."

"Ya know BeeBee, I never thought of this before, but we might actually die out here," Jazz sighed. Bumblebee looked over in his direction. "This sucks. There's so many things we never got to do. I never got to go to Disney Land with Sideswipe…or pelt Prowl with that giant water balloon that we made…and you're still a virgin…"

Bumblebee glanced over at him nervously. "Yeah…about that…"

"What?! Since when?! How come you've never told me?!" Jazz spun around on the branch quickly.

"Hey, that moment is special! I don't go around announcing it all over the base like you do!" Bumblebee snapped.

"I do not announce it all over the base!" Jazz countered. "They have to check my blog, just like everyone else." Bumblebee sighed and shook his head. "I'm surprised you even knew where to put it. Who was it? Anybody I know?"

"That information stays between me, her, and her camcorder." Bumblebee face-palmed. "Shit… I wasn't supposed to say that!"

"Wait, this was all recorded?! Now I _really _want to know who it was!"

"Pervert," Bumblebee grumbled. He leaned back against the tree, thankful for the silence. Eventually, even that became uncomfortable. "Where do you think we go when we die?"

Jazz didn't answer right away. "If you're good, you get to live the rest of your life on a sunny beach in California where there's lots of free muffins and unlimited Internet access."

"And if you're bad?"

"They lock you in a small, dark room with no doors or windows and make you listen to Vanilla Ice for all eternity," he replied.

"Oh." They returned to more of the uncomfortable silence. "How do they get you into the room if there's no doors or windows?"

"Er…They lower you in through a hole in the ceiling?" Jazz guessed.

"But then can't you just climb back out that hole?"

"They seal it up with Glad Press'n Seal."

"Okay, then. That works I guess."

"There you guys are! What are you two doing up there?"

Bumblebee and Jazz jumped, almost falling out of the tree, when they heard the familiar voice. They looked down to the base of the tree and saw Arcee looking up at them. "Arcee!"

"How did you get past the Inostrancevia?" Jazz asked.

"Inostran-what?" Arcee replied in confusion. She noticed the two staring at her funny, like they were worried about something. She wondered why…when something started breathing heavily behind her. She turned her head to see the biggest reptile she'd ever seen. "Oh…I believe I just found out…" She leapt up onto the tree trunk and scrambled up. "MOVE OVER!"

"Great! Now what are we supposed to do?" Bumblebee groaned. "We'll never get my fishy back if we die up here in this tree!"

A thought suddenly occurred to Jazz. "Oh yeah! Bumblebee, I never gave you your sandwich!" He pulled out Bumblebee's sandwich and reached out to hand it to him, only to accidentally drop it on the ground below. "Oops…" The gorgonopsid sniffed the sandwich, ate it, and left.

"Oh, look! He didn't want to eat us! He wanted to eat Bumblebee's sandwich!" Arcee pointed out happily.

"My sandwich…" Bumblebee whimpered.

Optimus slowly approached the tree and stared up at them. "Why are you all sitting in a tree?"

"Everyone was doing it. I just wanted to be popular," Arcee replied, jumping down.

* * *

Optimus stared carefully at the map. "The end of the forest is that way," he pointed to his left. "Come on." The other three obediently followed him. The trees began to get thinner and thinner as they reached the jungle's edge. Finally, they emerged from the jungle.

"Yes! Finally!" Bumblebee cheered.

"Now we have to cross that," Optimus added. They all stared at a rickety old wooden bridge. It swayed in the breeze and some of the boards were missing. Underneath the bridge was a sheer drop. "They call it Dead Mech's Bridge. Hmm… Interesting name."

"I quit," Jazz quickly said.

"Me too," Arcee agreed.

* * *

_Dinosaurs/etc Used (for those of you who are not nerds like me):_

_Deinonychus- A Velociraptor on steroids; looks somewhat like the Velociraptors in Jurassic Park (which were made much larger than they should be to make them scarier for the movie)_

_Inostrancevia- Jazz pretty much covered this one (ever play Dino Crisis 2? A somewhat incorrect version of Inostrancevia appears in the volcano level)_

_Compsognathus- A teeny, tiny dinosaur about the size of a cat that mainly fed on insects_

_Pteranodon- A type of pterosaur; those familiar with Swoop should know what these are_

_Nanotyrannus- A midget Tyrannosaurus Rex_


	4. We're On A Bridge, Charlie!

_Guess what? I'm not dead yet! =D_

_I'm so sorry about my lack of updates, but as my profile mentioned, I've been preoccupied because a friend of mine got me a new video game for Christmas and I've become addicted to it. All the video gaming killed my motivation and I've been in the grandaddy of all writer's blocks. Nothing I write makes it longer than a page before I either get bored with it or run out of ideas. That's the same reason why this chapter isn't the best thing I've written and is loaded with more dialogue than anything. Sorry. At least I'm updating at all._

Lyrics used are from: "Trogdor the Burninator" by Strongbad

* * *

"You can't quit! What about my fish?" Bumblebee asked.

"Even Floaty's not worth this," Jazz replied coldly.

"Jazz, you dragged me through a jungle, made me get attacked by squirrels, got us lost, and I've had to put up with your horrendous singing. After all you guys have put me through, you will not leave until we find that damn fish!" Optimus snapped. "Besides, you have a military contract that says you have to do as I say."

"Okay then, I quit the military," Jazz replied nonchalantly.

Optimus shook his head. "You can't just quit the military, Jazz. It doesn't work that way."

Jazz smacked Bumblebee upside the head. "There. Now you'll have to court-martial me for assault." Bumblebee rubbed his head and glared at Jazz.

"Smacking Bumblebee upside the head won't get you kicked out of the military, Jazz," Optimus sighed at his attempt.

"Okay, what if I kicked you really hard in the crotch plate? What would that get me?"

"Something…horrible…" Optimus growled threateningly.

"That bridge can't be strong enough to hold our weight! We'll die if we go across that!" Arcee pointed out. She stood next to the bridge and took a light step on the first board, jumping back when it broke and went flying downwards. "Yep. There's gonna be carnage."

"I've got an idea, Optimus… If you want us to go over so badly, why don't you go first? You're the heaviest. If it can hold you, it can hold all of us," Jazz suggested.

Optimus looked over at the bridge, then back at them. "Fine. I will." The three watched him walk over to the bridge and slowly, cautiously step onto it. It sagged a little from his weight, and wobbled all over the place. He slowly inched his way towards the middle.

"Hey Optimus!" Jazz called to him once he made it halfway, startling Optimus and nearly making him fall off.

Optimus carefully turned around. "What?!"

"If you die, can I have your iPod?"

Optimus was considering walking back over so he could slap him, but chose to ignore him instead. He cautiously turned back around and inched his way across the rickety bridge. As soon as he was close enough he dove to the other side before it had a chance to snap. Once he was sure he was safe, he stood up and looked smugly back at Jazz. "Your turn."

Jazz looked down at the drop. "Er, yeah… See, I'm kind of uncomfortable with heights…"

"Want me to push him?" Arcee volunteered.

"No need… I'm movin'…" Jazz quickly interrupted, moving slowly across the bridge. Once he got a moderate distance onto the bridge, he felt it begin to shake a lot more than it should have and looked back to see Bumblebee following him. "Bumblebee, wait! What if it can't hold our combined weight?!"

Bumblebee looked downwards, then back at Jazz. "Hmm… I never really thought of that."

The entire bridge jolted downwards, accompanied by the sounds of cables snapping. Jazz glared at Bumblebee. "You…are…the Devil!"

The bridge snapped towards the middle. Bumblebee quickly jumped back to the other side, grabbing onto Jazz's leg to prevent his friend from falling. "Hold on, Jazz!"

"No, it's cool. I'm just chillin'," Jazz replied with hidden sarcasm, staring up at him. "You might want to hurry, though. I'm starting to feel kinda dizzy."

"Bumblebee, Jazz! Hang on!" Optimus called back to them, quickly trying to find a way to get back over to their side. "Arcee, help Bumblebee pull him up!"

"You wouldn't ask a lady to do that kind of labor, would you?" Arcee replied.

"He's not asking a lady Arcee, he's asking you!" Bumblebee teased. Arcee kicked him, causing his grip to loosen on Jazz.

"Bumblebee, if you let go of me and I die, I swear, your ass is _so _haunted!" Jazz shouted threateningly.

Bumblebee struggled to maintain his grip. "I'll never let go, Jazz!"

"Yeah, that's what Rose said to Jack on _The Titanic _before she let go!" he snapped.

"Hang on, Jazz! We'll get you!" Arcee reassured him.

"Well if I have you to count on, I'm definitely dead," Jazz mumbled.

"Hey!"

Bumblebee felt his grip slipping. "Uh oh… Jazz, I can't hold on for much longer!"

"You better not…" Before Jazz could finish his sentence, Bumblebee's fingers slipped, sending him plummeting with a _thud_…down the remaining two feet it took for his huge-ass robot mode to reach the ground. Jazz leaned against the side on his head for a little while. "Ow…"

Bumblebee cocked his head. "Er… Jazz, how tall are you?"

"Um… About 15 feet," he replied.

Optimus noticed a sign: _Caution- 17-foot drop-off_. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!"

"Hey look! We could have just taken the stairs!" Arcee pointed out cement stairs leading down the one side of the chasm and up the other.

* * *

"Trogdor was a man. I mean, he was a dragon-man. Uh…maybe he was just a dragon." Optimus shook his head while Jazz continued singing. "But he was still…TROGDOR!!!"

Optimus jumped up off the ground and spun around, glaring at Jazz. "JAZZ!!"

"What? You don't like Trogdor?" Jazz asked innocently.

"Are you trying to make everything that wants to hurt us find us?!"

"Actually, I think they'd all be trying to _avoid _the sound," Bumblebee jumped to his defense. Optimus gave him a "Not helping!" look.

"If you are going to drag me all over creation, I'd like to do it in silence, thank you!" Optimus turned around and continued walking towards their next destination. "We're almost there. We just have to get through a cemetery."

Bumblebee froze in place. "A cemetery? I don't like cemeteries… I always feel like the dead people are watching me…"

"With what? Their eyes are rotted out of their heads!" Arcee pointed out.

"I don't know… With their "voodoo magic" or something…"

"Okay, so the "Reaper" guy lives in the dead center of the cemetery," Optimus stated, reading the map. They approached the dilapidated gates and stared out into the sea of dead people.

"Wait, he lives _in _the cemetery?" Arcee asked. "Why would anyone want to live in a place like this?"

Jazz looked around at all the tombstones and shrugged. "Quiet neighbors." He kicked over a rotting tree and watched it fall down, taking the gate with it, and leaned over and tapped on Bumblebee's shoulder to get his attention. "Okay BeeBee, here's what we're gonna do: We run through here, find this guy's house, ask for your fish back, and leave. Got it?" There was no response. He roughly nudged Bumblebee. "Bee?"

Bumblebee was off on Cloud 9 for a few moments as he stared at a raven sitting on one of the grave markers before he realized that Jazz was talking to him. "Huh?"

There was an awkward pause. "No wonder your name's 'Bumblebee'. You have the attention span…_of a bumblebee!!_"

Arcee grabbed them both and pulled them along. "Let's just hurry this up so I can get home before Scrubs comes on."

"Did you just feel the ground move?" Bumblebee asked as he stepped on a grave. The dirt wiggled slightly.

"No," Jazz replied, pushing him forward impatiently.

Carefully, they made their way through the graveyard, the ground extremely soggy from heavy rain (which strangely seemed to only exist in the boundaries of the graveyard- it was sunny elsewhere). Optimus carefully took a step, only to have it go through a sodden grave. "Whoops…"

"Nice, Optimus," Arcee clapped smart-assedly.

"Yeah, I'm sure when that guy was alive, he never thought that his gravesite would be desecrated by the foot of a giant alien robot," Jazz added.

Optimus glared at them both. "Shut up." He pulled his foot out and noticed that a zombie was stuck to it and scrapped it off on a grave marker. "Eww! That's disgusting!"

Bumblebee screamed and jumped up onto Jazz. "Something touched me!"

"Relax, Bumblebee. It was just me," Arcee reassured him.

"No, not that! I mean, I know _you _touched me, but something else did too! It grabbed my leg!" he screamed.

Jazz stumbled, trying to keep his balance with Bumblebee's heavy weight on top of him. "Bumblebee, please get off me before my body telescopes!" Bumblebee only clung to him tighter.

Optimus pulled him off and dangled him in the air momentarily. "Let's just hurry up and get this over with."

"Why do I get the feeling that something bad is about to happen?" Arcee asked, following them through the rows of graves.

* * *

_And now it's time for a very pointless story..._

I was speaking to my sister through email the other day, and she was complaining because someone owes her a slash fic and is procrastinating writing it, so I told her I'd write her one. Here it goes:

_"Starscream and Megatron were so hot for each other. Then they so totally did it. The end."_

I bet none of ya'll can write a better slash fic than that. XD


	5. Don't Fear The Reaper

_The original draft of this chapter was much longer and much more interesting. It was about 12 MS Word pages and only about 2/3rds complete. But unfortunately, my dad never transfered my files like I'd been annoying him about for a couple months and I got tired of waiting and just re-wrote it. Therefore the final chapter only came out to 7 MS Word pages, and I'm not too thrilled with the result. So here it is...the final chapter of Adventure, YES! like you've all been bugging me for. It only took me about 2 hours to write..._

* * *

"So when we see this Reaper guy, how are we going to convince him to give Floaty back?" Bumblebee asked Jazz.

"Just ask. Maybe he has a soft spot for animals," Arcee suggested.

"If he had a soft spot for animals, he wouldn't have killed Floaty, now would he?" Jazz replied. Arcee shushed him.

Bumblebee felt the ground underneath him jerk again. "Something's tunneling its way out!" he said in a panic, jumping back and hiding behind Arcee.

"Bumblebee, I'm sure nothing's…" Optimus began before a hand popped out of the ground and grabbed ahold of his leg. "OH HOLY SLAG!"

They quickly backed up as everywhere around them, limbs shot out of the ground. Zombies pulled themselves out of the mud, standing up on rotting limbs, facing the four robots standing in the graveyard, and began moaning and groaning and slowly moving towards them.

"They're gonna eat our brains!!" Jazz screamed, jumping up onto Optimus.

"In that case, you don't have anything to worry about, Jazz," Arcee replied.

"Oh, har har!"

They backed away from the zombies, trying to get as far away from them as they could. They then watched as the zombies closed in…getting closer…and closer…and then proceeded to trip over gravestones and walk into each other…

"Uh…okay?" Optimus said when a zombie tripped over his foot. They watched the dead people merely walk around displaying various degrees of stupidity and just looked at each other, shrugged, and continued walking through the graveyard.

"Hey look! There it is!" Jazz pointed out from his perch on top of Optimus. They all looked where he was pointing and saw the old, worn down house in the center of the cemetery where the Reaper supposedly lived.

Optimus, Arcee, and Jazz followed Bumblebee into the old house. They looked around for a sign that someone lived there, but found nothing. Bumblebee sighed disappointedly, when he noticed four glowing red eyes glaring at him from the top of the steps and pointed them out to his companions.

"How did you get past the zombies?!" the eye's owner demanded angrily.

"What, you mean these things?" Optimus opened the curtains so that he could see the zombies stumbling around outside, walking into things, and falling into empty graves. One of them walked past the window on fire and another was seen blowing all its money on lottery tickets and pot. "We just walked right by them. It wasn't that hard."

"Damn Umbrella…I knew I should have paid extra for the Lickers…" the being growled. He looked back at them and glared at Bumblebee. "Why are you bothering me? What do you want?"

"We were kind of looking for this 'Reaper' guy," Jazz explained.

"Why? What do you want of me?" the being grumbled. "And can we hurry this up? I'm kind of busy. Scrubs is on."

"Dammit! You mean I'm missing it?!" Arcee replied.

Bumblebee cocked his head slightly when he recognized the 'Reaper's' voice. "Barricade? Is that you?"

The 'Reaper' averted his eyes. "N-no…I do not know of this 'Barricade' of which you speak…" Optimus flicked on a light switch so they could see Barricade standing at the top of the steps. "Er…pay no attention to the mech at the top of the stairs…"

"Barricade! What are you doing here?" Optimus asked. "Where's the Reaper?"

"You're looking at him," Barricade replied.

"What? You?" Bumblebee said in surprise. "What do you mean, you're the Reaper?"

"Well, see, I got really bored and started to run out of money, so I really needed to get a job, and then when I was looking on Craigslist, I realized that they were looking for a new Reaper. Apparently the last Reaper quit halfway through last hockey season." Barricade explained. "I get paid to kill people. Who could ask for a better option?"

"Do you think you could help a friend out, Barricade?" Bumblebee asked, a little ray of hope in his tone.

"What do you want?" Barricade sighed.

"My goldfishy, Floaty, died. I came all the way here hoping I could get him back," Bumblebee replied. "Please can I have my fishy back?"

Barricade thought about it a moment. "Hmmm…no."

"What? Why not?" Arcee asked.

"If I gave you back your goldfish, I'd have to give back everyone I killed, and then the world would be teeming with unnecessary people again, and there would be serial killers back on the streets, and people would get creeped out at seeing that guy whose funeral they attended last week back out on the streets, and people would be upset that they can't get rid of their mother-in-law and collect the inheritance at the same time, and it just wouldn't be pretty," Barricade shook his head. "Besides, I'm not allowed to give them back."

"It's just a goldfish, Barricade. It's not like we're asking for someone's soul. Can't you give him his fish back?" Jazz pleaded.

Barricade looked back at Bumblebee, who was now giving him Bambi Eyes. He sighed again, giving in. "Fine. I'll give you back the damn fish. Follow me," he nodded behind him before turning around. They all quickly followed behind while he led them to a room in the back of the house. Barricade went to the back and started rooting through a filing cabinet, leaving them to wait on their own.

Jazz noticed a huge book about three feet thick filled with names. "Wow, all these people died?"

"It wouldn't even be that big if kids would stop trying to reenact the stunts off of _Jackass_," Barricade called back. He pulled out a file from the back of the cabinet. "Here we go…Floaty the fish. Which Floaty is it that you wanted back?"

Bumblebee was silent a moment. "What do you mean, which Floaty? I only had one goldfish…" Optimus looked away silently.

Barricade looked through the file again. "Bumblebee, according to this, you owned 14 goldfish by the name of Floaty, and a guinea pig named Nermal that Jazz ground up in the garbage disposal."

"NERMAL!" Bumblebee started crying, burying his face into Arcee's shoulder. She held onto him and patted him gently to comfort him.

"It was an accident! I was trying to turn on the light so we could see while we gave him a bath! I hit the wrong switch! So sue me!" Jazz replied when Arcee shot him an angry look. "Anyway, what do you mean he owned 14 fish by the name of Floaty? I only remember one."

"Me too," Arcee agreed.

"I've only owned one that I know of," Bumblebee replied, wiping away his tears.

"Er…" Optimus added. Everyone slowly looked in his direction. "The real Floaty died…like a long time ago…" he explained.

"What?!" Bumblebee, Jazz, and Arcee all said in unison.

"I kept replacing him without telling you every time he died. I didn't think you'd be able to handle it after what happened to Nermal," he continued. "I would have replaced him this time too, except I didn't know he was dead until you told me."

"So all this time Floaty's been a lie?!" Bumblebee said in shock. "You know, I always did wonder why he turned into a black moor goldfish for a couple of months…"

"Yeah, they didn't have the orange ones that time…I was hoping you wouldn't notice…" Optimus shrugged.

Barricade began to grow impatient. "Okay…so which of the fish do you want?" he asked.

"What do you mean, 'which one'? I can't choose between my babies!" Bumblebee protested. "I love them all!"

"Look, I'll even throw in that gerbil Jazz killed if you just hurry the hell up and pick one," Barricade added, hoping that would entice him to pick faster so he could get back to his show.

"Guinea pig…" Jazz corrected.

"Whatever. I can't give you all of them for nothing. If you want them all, you're going to have to trade me something."

Arcee and Bumblebee exchanged glances. "So what's something that we'll never miss?"

* * *

"I wonder what Sideswipe's going to say when he realizes we traded his brother for a bag of goldfish?" Jazz said, holding up the bag containing Floatys 1-14 and watching them swim around. "I sure hope your tank is big enough…" Nermal clung to his helm and hung down in front of Jazz's face, looking at the bag.

Bumblebee piggy-backed Arcee along the way back. They both glanced back at him. "Eh, I'm sure he won't notice," Arcee shrugged.

"The second we get the Floatys back into your tank, I'm taking a long nap," Optimus sighed, walking past them. It was already starting to get dark and they were only halfway there.

Jazz glanced over at Bumblebee and Arcee when a thought occurred to him. Arcee was being awfully nice to Bumblebee when his goldfish died…and when he got upset about Nermal…and she seemed very worried about him while ignoring everyone else…and now he's carrying her the rest of the way…and then it hit him like a ton of bricks… "Arcee…didn't you get a camcorder last Christmas?"

"Yeah. Why?" she asked. Bumblebee froze.

"I KNEW IT!" Jazz replied.

"What? I don't get what's going on…" Arcee said, confused at why Bumblebee seemed very uncomfortable and Jazz seemed triumphant about figuring something out. Optimus shook his head, not even caring to know what was going on.

_1 MONTH LATER…_

Jazz and Bumblebee sat together in front of the TV, watching cartoons, when Arcee walked into the room sadly, carrying a shoebox. She sat between the two and stared at the box she was holding.

"What's wrong Arcee?" Bumblebee asked.

"My bunny died…" she answered, still staring at the shoebox.

"You know what that means?" Jazz asked.

"ROAD TRIP!" they all screamed excitedly. Optimus slammed his head against the table in the other room.

* * *

_Story time! Story time! I once had a pet peppered corydoras (it's a kind of catfish) in a tank full of fish. He was my favorite fish out of every fish I owned and I named him Sven. I always said goodbye to him before I went to school in the mornings. Apparently Sven died one night and I got upset when I couldn't find him in the tank before school. So, while I was at school, my dad went to like 7 different petshops looking for one that sold peppered corys and finally found one that had a tank full of them. He had to request the guy dig through the entire tank of fish for a tiny one at the very bottom because it was the only one that was the same size as Sven. He then rushed it home, put it in the tank, and picked me up from school. When I came home, I was like, "Hi, Sven!" and I never even knew that Sven died until my dad told me the story a couple years ago when we went to the pet store to buy a betta fish and saw a tank full of peppered corydoras._


End file.
